My Safe Space

From the memory of being in your arms,

to the cold fort I would build as a child in the snow.

my safe space is forever changing.

My safety can be found under a heavy rain or above the fields,

feeling the blades of grass between my toes,

it could be alone, or surrounded by the friends and family I have made for myself,

the chosen few that have supported me through this last year,

those that will forever be in my heart even when we grow apart.

There is always comfort in those thoughts, those memories that hide within my mind,

but, I also find comfort in the dark too.

The days of pain and despair,

the times where I would fall to my knees with tears crashing down my cheeks.

For me, those are safe spaces too.

Those memories that haunt and bring with them my destruction.

How are they safe spaces?

How can I possibly find comfort in those events that torture my every sleep?

They remind me, keep me grounded and focused on what is ahead.

The reminders of what I have lost, the sacrifices I have made for others,

sacrifices that many would see as mistakes, moments lost to kindness

where my wish to help was taken for granted.

Yes, those moments exist, my generosity was used against me but never,

not once have I ever regretted them.

They caused pain and suffering but they did not take away from who I am, only who I wished to help.

My safe space, is in the pain I feel because pain has taught me who to trust.

Who to love and keep close to, pain has shown me the errors I make.