Already Lost

Darkness seeps across the skies above as blood soaks into the ground beneath my feet.

The dull ring of steel upon steel slowly dies down as my brethren have fallen to the floor surrounding me, their cries of pain and pleas of anguish drown out my own heavy heart as I stand, facing down my greatest fear.

Death.

No, not my own loss of life.

The death of my loved ones, of the bonds that tie us. Death to the only happiness I have ever known.

The darkness is taking over.

Yet, here I stand. My fingers grasping desperately to the last strand of hope as they wrap around the cold hilt of a heavy blade.

My eyes look toward the shrouded figure ahead and my heart races with a fear I had never expected to know.

Anticipation of the worst to come.

I already know how it feels to fight a losing battle and yet I am too afraid to admit defeat.

I know how it hurts to watch all that is important fade from reality, from my grasp. Escaping me for the last time as I beg the pain to stop.

Is this moment my final stand? Is this all I have succumbed to? A fool of a man with naught but a false hope as his only weapon?

The figure's hood is dropped and beneath it? Such a deadly beauty, a divine image that causes me to stand frozen. My eyes trace along her every inch, lingering upon those features that my kiss once grew attached to. My lips quiver as I bite back the need to beg, a weak and selfish request for this to end in my favour, to beg that she not do this to me, to us.

Isn't it funny? How love can make you feel so alive, so full of potential, joy and hope.

It drives us, urges our hearts to pump that little bit faster, encourages our blood to push with such determination through our bodies, it provides a warmth, a magical sensation of positivity within each of us that we refuse to fight.

And yet it is love that can also break us.

Love, a magic that has me stood on a battlefield of which could only exist in my heart, my mind.

Has me succumbing to the ever growing darkness above and also striving in it's brightness too..

Love, a double edged sword that cuts deep with pinpoint accuracy.

"What am I saying?" you might ask.

Am I to give up on love so soon?

To give in to either side of the sword and live a life without the pain love brings?

Never!

You see, love can hurt, it can hurt more than any other single pain you could imagine. It destroys but it also heals.

Her smile, so bright, radiant. It brings my racing heart out of my chest. Her laughter spreads to my very soul.

Her name alone could bring me to my knees and to hear my name dance upon her tongue? It brings such bliss that no amount of pain could replace!

This woman, this goddess among peasants, she has my heart and the choice to nurture or destroy it is entirely hers.

I just hope, if she destroys me than she does so quickly because every day my love grows stronger and at every minute, I feel I am fighting a lost battle.